“Time will tell”

There was always something there to stop me.

And I was always too scared to go through with it.

Maybe that’s a good thing I never did.

I wonder how my life would look like right now had I done it.

If I had acted on my fantasies.

Would I still be here?

Would I still be able to call this apartment my home?

I don’t know.

And I’m glad I don’t know because that meant I was stronger than whatever urge I had.

It means I’m not such a bad person as I thought I was.

It means I’m better than my demons.

But I do still wonder what my life would have looked like if I went through with it.

I guess only time will tell if I ever get an answer to that question.

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