I felt like it was coming.
And I was still surprised when it happened.
I knew she was going to leave.
But I was still heartbroken when she did.
It was my fault.
I could have changed.
I could have done so much and maybe she would have stayed.
But I didn’t.
I didn’t want to change the way I live.
Not for her, not for anyone.
I should have known she wouldn’t like that.
I should have known she was going to leave if I didn’t do something.
I saw it coming.
And I didn’t do anything.
I have only myself to blame.
If I wanted her to stay I should have changed.
I had the time.
And I didn’t.
So I guess I never really wanted her to stay.
Not enough for me to change anyway.
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