“Making them hurt”

School was never a good place for me. If I had had my choice, I would have never gone. I didn’t like it. And the school didn’t like me.

My school years were a bad couple of years. I didn’t fit in anywhere. And so, I didn’t have many friends. In fact, I had none. Most people didn’t even see me, to them I was invisible. I didn’t care much about those people. The ones that I cared about where the ones that saw me.

I would have preferred to be invisible to them too. At least then I would have been spared the daily beatings.

I was small during the years I went to school. Not in stature but in mind. They made me feel small. They made me feel weak.

They made me feel like I wasn’t worth anything. That I was nothing.

So I took those beatings, every day, without saying a single word. Because I believed that I couldn’t stand up to them. That I couldn’t fight back. I believed that I was weak.

I always knew that I would get them in the end. That I would get them back for all the things, they had done to me.

That I would make them feel small.

That I would make them weak.

That I would make them hurt.

That was what I was thinking about when I came to school that day. That they would no longer make me feel like that.

That today I was the big one, the strong one.

That today I was the one that was going to hurt.

~~~
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