I can think of this one time when I was out with my friends. We were just down at the local bar having a drink and enjoying ourselves.
As we were talking I came up with a joke. Everyone thought it was funny and we laughed.
A woman, sitting with a group of people at the table next to us had apparently taken offense to my joke. She leaned over and told me that I shouldn’t say such things. I was being my normal, stupid self. And a little bit tipsy. So I thought it would be a good idea to tell another joke, this time at her expense.
The joke didn’t go over well with anyone. Least of all the woman and her husband who stood from his seat and walked over to me.
I will admit that I was scared at first but then my stupidity took over and I told another joke. This time all that got me was a punch to the jaw.
I fell off my chair and landed on the floor. My friends thought this was all hilarious.
As I lay on the floor I thought for a moment about getting up and punching back.
I managed to stop myself from doing that. But I didn’t manage to stop myself from saying that he punched like a little girl.
This gave me a boot to the face followed by a kick to the ribs.
I threw up right there on the floor. At the same time cursing myself for my mouth.
To the great pleasure of my friends and I the police came and took the man away. They talked to us for a minute then left after taking our statements.
We all went back to enjoying our night.
It wasn’t long before I had the great idea of telling yet another joke at the expense of the couple. The only thing was that I had forgotten was that the woman and the rest of their group were still sitting at their table.
She got up and slapped me across the face. I fell to the ground once again. This time by the hand of a woman twice my age.
I cursed myself and my mouth once more.
Categories: flash fiction